Explain Love & Trust.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008 | 2:13 PM

sigh. totally in a depressed mood now.
fuck up with everything.
everything that happen to me now.
nothing seems to goes right.
and i think i am not the person i was actually.
my soul seems like it had went out to roam around.

i didnt contact you these two days.
this is not on purposely.
just that i wasnt feeling well.
i have no energy to even type on my phone.
i didnt even want to take a look at my phone.
it seems dead.

school are worst. stress all around.
i apologized to my dear friends and sister .
if I ever gave you a fucking reaction or throw temper on you.
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY !
i didnt want it to happen but i just cant control myself.

family problem up next.
parents are treating me good.
sister-in-law and brother-inlaw was both alright.
bro is in his Nservice.
but, leftovers ?
lets not talk about my mothers' side.
just my dad's , since that night.
i feel so bad. i want to cry out loud.
but was there any shoulder for me ?
NONE!
sigh :/

i just need a shoulder, a listen ear, a person i trust on.
it just so easy yet difficult to be done.
shit.

i know i could just say it a out loud to my sisters.
but, they have their own problem too.
i dont wish to disturb them.

end my life? its stupid.
how could i ?
although have been asking someone what will she do if one day Im dead.
no answer.

let every bad things happen to me have a full stop, God.
I dont want to suffer anymore.
I going to break down sooner or later.

T_T